The After-MAPH

Jack Black’s Body is 87% MAPH-made. In honor of the third anniversary of the MAPHers that are making my Body becoming MAPHers, my trusty editors and I offer our dear readers an exclusive rocking alumni round-up.

Trusty Editor Croftie (MA, James Joyce, the Herd Instinct, and Public Intellectualism) is working in her field as an editrix in Chicago, writing plays and novels and short stories in her spare time. She recently learned the difference between real monkeys and fashion monkeys. She herself is a funky monkey.

Trusty Editor Oline (MA, Jackie Tabloids, the Herd Instinct, and Public Intellectualism) is working in her field as an editrix in Chicago, writing plays and biographies and blogs in her spare time. She is both historical and lazy.

Dananator (MA, Fan Fic, Public Intellectualism, and Bridget Jones studies) is enthusiastically instructing young people in the tyrannical ways of the Chicago Manual of Style, a book in which she no longer believes.

The Dread Pirate Toe-Sock Dougo (MA, Architecture, Graphic Novels, and the Art of Peltic Interior Design) is a wildly successful bookseller at the Seminary Co-Op, directing this year's crop of MAPHers to their weighty tomes.

Germanatrix (MA, German stuff, Christian Bale movies, and Lots 'O Music) has recently made a triumphant return to Chicago and landed a posh job at Northwestern where she dazzles the youngsters with her Germanosity.

Jenny Fair (MA, Virginia Woolf, Benjamine, and Brunch) is the most successiest of MAPH's success stories. Engaged to a poet on the verge of taking his SATs and working as head honcho at a museum in Boston, Jenny Fair is living the MAPHer dream.

Osutein Sensei (MA, Japanese things, Virginia Woolf, and Winter Weather Endurance) recently relocated to Chicago, where he will spend the entire winter shivering his southern self to nothing. He is on the employment hunt and watching Cheers reruns all the livelong day. If you know anyone, hook him up. He needs a place where everybody knows his name.

Scott Hamilton (MA, Swimming, Nannying, and Facial Hair Studies) is somewhere—probably somewhere Alaskan—doing something unspeakably cool that we don't know about and wouldn't quite understand but would know is unspeakably cool nonetheless because he’s the one doing it.

The Sex Panther (MA, Creative Writing, Public Intellectualism, and Online Dating Studies) is rocking the L.A. nightlife on a nightly basis and making the Chicago MAPHers feel very pastey pale and bookish. She brings the sex. We bring, um.... the tweed.

Stohlermandude (MA, Chinese Things, Poker, and Fantasy Sports) recently returned to the Ivory Tower (ver. NYC) to pursue his doctoral degree in Chinese Things. He also knows lots of stuff about computers—like the multifarious uses of the “alt tab” key.