Ask Jack!

Happy Happy Hump Day, dear JBB friends! Here’s this week’s defining question. Have questions of your own you’re just longing to ask? Send your queries to me at jackblacksbody@gmail.com. Fire away!


Jack Darling,

I've been with this guy for a month or so. We've had fun. But I have no idea what we are. We aren't dating anyone else but we haven't had an exclusivity talk and we aren't anything beyond "seeing" each other. We made out at Nacho Libre and he paid for my ticket and treats, but when we're with other people, he always introduces me as "my friend." The idea of having nothing more than a "man-friend" is pretty annoying, but I also don't want to look like a crazy, overbearing, desperate woman. So my question is: when and how to have the DTR (Define the Relationship) convo?

Love,

Lolita Charms
Yazoo City, Mississippi

Dearest Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins, my sin, my soul!

See, Jables reads too.

First of all honey, I'm not sure whether to pissed that you weren't watching my film, or pleased that it inspired such lust in a young couple-of-sorts. That's right, the "relationship" you're currently involved in is classified as a "couple-of-sorts." Which means that you think you might be a couple, and he thinks you're his "lady friend." Well, lady friend, I suggest one of two options:

Take your man-friend, or pseudo-maybe-possible-boyfriend (however you choose to view the situation) to a public spot. I suggest a movie theater perhaps for another viewing of Nacho. No, really, I suggest taking a walk in the park to look at the swans swimming lazily in the cool, deep pond. This will put him in a romantic mood. If possible, invite a musician to perform behind some bushes so that when the time is right, he may launch into a sonata. Now is the time to begin the DTR convo. Much like a tiger or panther, men become aggressive when stared straight in the eye, particularly during a serious conversation with a lady friend who wants to be more than a friend. So don't make direct eye contact, keep walking, and simply ask him what his intentions are. If he's looking for love, congratulations! If he'd rather remain a lowly "man friend," there's always a nice, deep pond to shove him into, and some hungry swans who just might like a taste of man-flesh.
I'll bet you forgot that you had another option, didn't you? Well, Lo, you might not like this much, but sometimes it's not a bad thing to relax and just see what happens. That's the way Jables rolls. On the other hand, any good relationship is founded on communication and respect. That much I learned from my hot wife awhile back when she was just my "lady friend" and I was just food for swans.
Hope this helps, dudette!

Big hug, little kiss,
Jables