Constructive Criticism

I know that I don't say it nearly enough, but my trusty editors are freaking awesome. They have helped me mount the Revolution unfunded, guerrilla style. They do their trusty editing, mind my Body, fetch my dry-cleaning, and make many a romantic feast for me and my hot wife. They do all this while leading alternate non-JBB, post-collegiate, pre-professional twenty-something lives.

They are a pair of clever minx and I love them so.

So I was 100% behind my trusty editors when they strutted up to me the other day and suggested that we post an ad on Craigslist, because the Body needed a new infusion of life, fresh talent. Craigslist sounded anti-establishment enough to work. Plus, Croftie was looking so hot in her leopard heels and Oline in her yellow stilettos left me weak in the knees. How could I refuse such a simple favor in the presence of such attractions?

And it was only Craigslist. It wasn't as though the delicate emotions of my trusty editors would be in any way endangered.

So off Croftie scampered in her kitten heels, to compose an advertisement of such eloquence, such JBB joie de vieve, that the resumés of the literarily talented masses would soon be flooding the HQ. The air sizzled with excitement.

And then...



We were flagged and removed.

My Body—glorious and incandescent in its circumference and breadth—was unceremoniously lumped and scrapped along with the good-for-nothing ads for foot fetishists and baby-merchants. It was inexplicable. It was tragic.

Croftie made epic lips of disapproval. Oline stomped her yellow heel on the marble floor with an intensity that would've done Michael Flatly proud. But those girls, they're intrepid. They sought a solution. They e-mailed Craiglist. They posted on the forum seeking an answer. Seeking understanding and justification.

Instead, they got a plebeian response.



But don't be alarmed, my Revolteers. Although we’ve been banished from Craigslist, insulted by the anonymous powers-that-be, and consigned to the 98th percentile for incredible lameity, we shall prevail. Though misunderstood and underappreciated, the Revolution lives on. The hope endures. The dream shall never die.

But it shall never advertise on Craigslist again.